Posts Tagged ‘literally’

Literally Speaking…

“I’m going to run out and start the car, just watch your sister and I’ll be right back.” Simply enough instruction right? I guess, unless you are a very literal 4 year old. I came back in the house in time to see my 1year old baby more than half way up the stairs to the second floor. “What is going on, I thought I asked you to watch her?” I said. The answer? “But Mommy, I AM watching her…I’m watching her go up the stairs!”

“Take the toys downstairs” I feel like this one is self explanatory, how could a child not understand this instruction? We have a huge play area in the basement filled with toys, books and puzzles etc . And yet as I just tripped on the pile of Polly Pockets at the bottom of the stairs and lay face up on the cement floor with a basket of dirty laundry underneath my back, I realize that my littlest child has taken my instruction literally and has left her toys “downstairs”…right at the bottom of those stairs!

“Get rid of the stuff in the living room” Now when I say “get rid of” of course that is Mom-Speak for, put the toys in the toy box, garbage in the garbage can, shoes at the front door, pillows on the couch and dishes in the sink. However what I end up getting is toys and books stuffed behind the lazy boy in the living room and all dishes and paper garbage shoved behind the basement door!

“Hurry up or I’m going to leave you in the car!”  This one usd to be an effective threat to achieve compliance from defiant children. Unfortunately the last time I pulled this threat out I was surprised at his response, “Ok, that’s better, I didn’t want to go into the store anyways!” Oops. Now what?

“Yes you can taste the cookies, just don’t eat the whole bag.” I figured that my daughter was smart enough to catch the sarcasm in my voice. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that perhaps my sarcasm is lost on the children when I found the nearly empty bag and heard “What’s wrong Mommy? There’s still ONE left!”

We’re leaving in a minute“. My little ones will chomp at the bit, driving me crazy if I tell them we are going to the park and we’ll be leaving in a minute. My husband also has trouble not taking this one literally. When I say that we are leaving in a minute of course I mean that we will be leaving sometime in the next 20-30 minutes. After I get my purse, get my jacket on, my shoes on, put the dog in the cage, pack a snack, check my blood sugar, make a coffee-to-go, find my keys, answer one last email, get the children pottied, dressed and in the car.

Of course the most famous of which is, “stop touching your sister!”…I’m not touching her! *with finger pointed 1 cm from her face*…well at least they are listening…literally.

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