Posts Tagged ‘conflict’

Mythical Creatures

I often wonder what is going on with my children that causes them to fight….constantly. Is it the water? Diet? Some sort of biological disorder? I’m sure that I have written about the bickering and arguing before, and yet it bears repeating. If for no other reason than the fact that it dominates nearly every part of our daily activities. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t fight ALL the time….just when they are awake.

I am an only child so I truly don’t understand why co-existing necessitates conflict, why there seems to be competition and one-upmanship about everything. Growing up I was desperate to have a sibling, I often lamented the fact that I never had anyone to play with as a child or even someone to fight with. (when you can only argue with your parents the results can be disasterous) Now that I have 2 children, I can say without a doubt that life as an Only was simpler and infinitely more peaceful!

I wish my little ones could appreciate the incredible blessing it is to have someone so close to share the experiences of life and understand what a resource it is to have a sibling. As much as their fighting grates on my nerves, I am most bothered by the fact that they have missed the point of siblings. God has given them each a Permanent-Partner (in crime maybe…but still) a Forever-Friend (when all the other children are busy, they will have someone to help man the lemonade station) and a Bargaining-Buddies (having a sibling evens out the child vs. parent ratio, they can come to the negotiating table with even numbers).

Once in a while I meet someone whose children seem to have passed through the tumultuous stage of the childhood and have developed a loving co-operative symbiotic relationship. At first glance I am faced with a sight akin to viewing a unicorn drinking pink water from a sparkling waterfall, and yet I realize it does in fact exist. As I write this, I glance across my livingroom and see my husband peering over the shoulder of his “baby sister”, looking at photos online. I listen to them reminisce about shared experiences of the past, childhood friends, schoolyard antics and I am filled with hope.

Despite having the typical difficulties that accompany sibling-hood, they have grown to love and appreciate eachother. My husband has waited 10 years for her to come and spend some time with our family, with no backward glance to her touching his toys or monopolizing Mom’s affection. Just the joy at finally spending some time with his sister, the affection between two people who grew up together and learned to get a long and appreciate the sibling blessing.

Hmmmm I wonder if my children will follow suit? Will they ever see the benefit of having a sibling? Will they grow to enjoy each others company and have fun growing up? I truly hope so, until then I guess I will just keep my eyes on the sparkly waterfall, one can never tell when a unicorn may be thirsty.

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