Archive for the ‘The One I Love’ Category

So I Didn’t Marry Superman…

I know that this is a repeat, but it’s one of my favourites. And somethings….just bear repeating…

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Just over 11 years ago, I married Superman…well I thought I married Superman. It turns out that he couldn’t fly, or leap over tall buildings, he couldn’t see through my clothes with his x-ray vision (a fact for which I am eternally grateful) and he didn’t have superhuman strength. It turns out that instead of marrying Superman, I actually just married a plain old Super Man. He’s a fantastic father, a great friend and lover, a quality human being and about as dependable as you could ever ask for in another person. He’s Super, not like Sarah Palin Super… but actually super!

A couple of years ago, I was part of a woman’s bible study called “A Wife of Noble Character” and one part of the group study was a section that challenged us to make a list of all our husbands qualities that we appreciated. Not a list of things that we wish they would change, instead we were to focus on seeing the good in them and looking to articulate our gratitude for the things that we loved about them. I discovered that I actually married several men in one package. I thought that would share this list of husbands that I am married to, a sort of public recognition of all the wonderful qualities my hubby posesses and all the things I just appreciate so much about him.

1. The Spider-Slayer – He willingly kills all the bugs and spiders that cross my path, even if it means waking him up in the middle of the night to show him an ugly black spider on the ceiling right above my bed. He has trained me so that when he is at work, I can buckle down and kill a spider, but I still prefer him to do it when he’s here. I’m sure he’d feel less than manly if I did it when he was home…right?

2. The Music Man – He is a wonderfully gifted musician, I fell in love with him and his guitar and every time I hear him play, I get giddy with girlish glee. God has given him such a wonderful talent!

3. The Rock – I am the sensitive one in our partnership, he is the one I turn to when I am hurting or upset. My husband is very loving and gentle, however given that I am a marshmallow and easily offended, it is really good that he is so solid and strong. I need that, and God knew it. 

4. The Armadillo – There is nothing that anyone can say to hurt my hubby, he is so confident that he rarely feels slighted or gets his feelings hurt. He seems to be impervious to all forms of insult, sarcasm, manipulation and the other common things that other people find offensive. I greatly admire this quality, except of course when I am trying to goad him into an argument.

5. The Superhero – Each evening as my husband walks through the front door and I am overwhelmed by the screaming, jumping, shouting, and running that immediately occurs. They greet him like he is Spiderman swooping in on a hanging web or a conquering hero returning from defeating evil in all corners of the universe! As much as I get a tiny feeling of jealousy in the back of my heart because they never greet me like that, I actually love it. I think that children should believe that their father is superman; that he will protect them, care for them and fight of all the bad guys (and unworthy suitors). And the truth is, he really is a superhero trust me, I do the laundry. Who do you think washes his cape? 

6. The HandyMan – Some women complain that their husbands couldn’t fix a toilet or light with two hands, a manual and a home depot associate in their pocket. My husband on the other hand can fix anything, truly. He has a knack for problem solving and carefully examining a problem to see what is not working. He is methodical, diligent, incredibly patient and will relentlessly continue to try various solutions until he finds the most suitable one for the problem at hand. If you can’t figure it out, call my man, cause he’ll get the job done no matter how many hours it takes.

7. The Romantic. Although life often gets in the way, and he doesn’t always think of the most romantic things to do or give me. My man is in fact a romantic at heart (probably has to do with being a musician) he will often send me loving text messages, or leave me little notes to encourage me and remind me that he loves me. He is big on loving nick-names, and tries really hard to love me according to my love language, even though it is different than his own. Fortunately I have learned to recognize some of his strange expressions of love and I appreciate him so much for it.

8. The Neat-Freak – This personality has been forced to spend the last 11 years shackled to his messy and unorganized wife, so it has sustained some long-term damage. However my husband is very organized and prefers things to stay in order, he is good at picking up after himself and cleaning up proficiently. I often say that he is a better house-wife than I am! If only I could adopt some more of his neatness through osmosis…

9. The Worker Bee – Many people work hard and there are probably people who work even harder than my wonderful husband, but I don’t know any. He never shies away from a difficult task (unless it’s an explosive diaper) and he will willingly take on any job, large or small, dirty or difficult. He is driven to achieve his goals and is uncomfortable coasting or sitting back and letting others work hard. He’s the guy that you can be sure will show up, diligently get the job done, and clean up after.

10. The Perfect Husband– Perhaps not according to Hollywood Movie standards, but according to real life and God’s plan, my husband is the perfect husband for me. He compliments me, challenges me, protects me, lifts me up and makes me a better person in general. I am so grateful to the Lord for giving me the perfect partner…a Super-Partner if you will.

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Lovin’ On Your Wife

Married couples are often on different pages as far as expressing love. I believe that people speak different “Love Languages” as outline by Gary Chapman in his book and one of the keys to a happy marriage is to find what makes your spouse feel loved and do it for them. So as a little help for all my Mom friends (specifically stay-at-home mom friends) I have compiled a list for our husbands of the top 10 ways (according to my extensive research) to start Lovin’ On Your Wife!

10. Wash the dishes. Sometimes it’s nice to walk in the house after a late night at work or even out with the girls, and find the dishes done and ready for the next day. Maybe it’s not your job, maybe you don’t have to, maybe you shouldn’t feel obligated, but I’m telling you, if you wash the dishes for her, she will feel LOVED!

9. Plan a night out for dinner, movie or even coffee. But please make sure YOU arrange the babysitter! Nothing says I love you like, “Don’t worry, I already took care of the kids, let’s go!”

8. Offer to go get the groceries by yourself. Maybe she writes the list and you take it and do all the shopping yourself. Especially if your sweetheart usually does the weekly shopping with the children in tow. I love it when my hubby says, “Give me a list, I’ll go!”

7. Sit with her on the sofa and watch HER favourite t.v show or movie. Don’t just suffer through it or doze in a chair, but actually WATCH the show and pay attention. If she enjoys it, she will enjoy sharing it with you.

6. Foot Rub…’nuff said.

5. Dedicate your first 10 minutes home from work to her and her alone. I love it when hubby walks in the door, dishes out kisses to all the little ones and then sends them away so he can focus on me for a few minutes. It’s a great chance to share the good and bad from the day with each other and a chance to connect before the dinner hour and bedtime craziness takes over.

4. Random text messages to tell her you love her, or to tell her you miss her and can’t wait to see her later in the day. Be specific, “hey baby ‘sup?” is not the same.

3. Play with your children. I mean REALLY play with them, I’m talking about running in the backyard, tickling on the floor, imagination games, board games or making a fort. Nothing pleases a woman more than when her children get full out play time with Daddy, it tells us that all that painful labour we went through was worth it, b/c you love the kids as much as we do! Plus sometimes it’s nice not to have to be the one doing all the playing.

2. Buy your wife a gift. This is not the kind of gift that you purchase on valentines day or her birthday, but something random that you know she needs or wants, but hasn’t bought for herself. A book she’s waiting to read, the bra or underwear she needs but hasn’t made a priority (not the kind YOU like, but the kind that SHE likes!), a magazine she was eyeing in the supermarket, a plant she can put on the table to brighten up the kitchen. Something that says you noticed she would like it and you want her to have it.

1. Listen to her. Really listen to her. Ask her about her day and listen carefully to what she tells you, pay attention when she is talking about her job, schoolyard politics, playdate dramas or neighbourhood activities. If she is the mother of your children, especially a stay-at-home-mom, this is as important to her as your (perhaps boring) job is to you. She will feel loved if you are interested in what she does in a day, there is a good chance she has spent years listening to all the goings on of your workplace and sports teams, she would appreciate the same respect. Trust me, when your wife feels listened to, she feels loved. That’s just a good plan for both of you! Good Luck and Good Lovin’!!

So I Didn’t Marry Superman…

Just over 11 years ago, I married Superman…well I thought I married Superman. It turns out that he couldn’t fly, or leap over tall buildings, he couldn’t see through my clothes with his x-ray vision (a fact for which I am eternally grateful) and he didn’t have superhuman strength. It turns out that instead of marrying Superman, I actually just married a plain old Super Man. He’s a fantastic father, a great friend and lover, a quality human being and about as dependable as you could ever ask for in another person. He’s Super, not like Sarah Palin Super… but actually super!

A couple of years ago, I was part of a woman’s bible study called “A Wife of Noble Character” and one part of the group study was a section that challenged us to make a list of all our husbands qualities that we appreciated. Not a list of things that we wish they would change, instead we were to focus on seeing the good in them and looking to articulate our gratitude for the things that we loved about them. I discovered that I actually married several men in one package. I thought that would share this list of husbands that I am married to, a sort of public recognition of all the wonderful qualities my hubby posesses and all the things I just appreciate so much about him.

1. The Spider-Slayer – He willingly kills all the bugs and spiders that cross my path, even if it means waking him up in the middle of the night to show him an ugly black spider on the ceiling right above my bed. He has trained me so that when he is at work, I can buckle down and kill a spider, but I still prefer him to do it when he’s here. I’m sure he’d feel less than manly if I did it when he was home…right?

2. The Music Man – He is a wonderfully gifted musician, I fell in love with him and his guitar and every time I hear him play, I get giddy with girlish glee. God has given him such a wonderful talent!

3. The Rock – I am the sensitive one in our partnership, he is the one I turn to when I am hurting or upset. My husband is very loving and gentle, however given that I am a marshmallow and easily offended, it is really good that he is so solid and strong. I need that, and God knew it. 

4. The Armadillo – There is nothing that anyone can say to hurt my hubby, he is so confident that he rarely feels slighted or gets his feelings hurt. He seems to be impervious to all forms of insult, sarcasm, manipulation and the other common things that other people find offensive. I greatly admire this quality, except of course when I am trying to goad him into an argument. 🙂

5. The Superhero – Each evening as my husband walks through the front door and I am overwhelmed by the screaming, jumping, shouting, and running that immediately occurs. They greet him like he is Spiderman swooping in on a hanging web or a conquering hero returning from defeating evil in all corners of the universe! As much as I get a tiny feeling of jealousy in the back of my heart because they never greet me like that, I actually love it. I think that children should believe that their father is superman; that he will protect them, care for them and fight of all the bad guys (and unworthy suitors). And the truth is, he really is a superhero trust me, I do the laundry. Who do you think washes his cape? 

6. The HandyMan – Some women complain that their husbands couldn’t fix a toilet or light with two hands, a manual and a home depot associate in their pocket. My husband on the other hand can fix anything, truly. He has a knack for problem solving and carefully examining a problem to see what is not working. He is methodical, diligent, incredibly patient and will relentlessly continue to try various solutions until he finds the most suitable one for the problem at hand. If you can’t figure it out, call my man, cause he’ll get the job done no matter how many hours it takes.

7. The Romantic. Although life often gets in the way, and he doesn’t always think of the most romantic things to do or give me. My man is in fact a romantic at heart (probably has to do with being a musician) he will often send me loving text messages, or leave me little notes to encourage me and remind me that he loves me. He is big on loving nick-names, and tries really hard to love me according to my love language, even though it is different than his own. Fortunately I have learned to recognize some of his strange expressions of love and I appreciate him so much for it.

8. The Neat-Freak – This personality has been forced to spend the last 11 years shackled to his messy and unorganized wife, so it has sustained some long-term damage. However my husband is very organized and prefers things to stay in order, he is good at picking up after himself and cleaning up proficiently. I often say that he is a better house-wife than I am! If only I could adopt some more of his neatness through osmosis…

9. The Worker Bee – Many people work hard and there are probably people who work even harder than my wonderful husband, but I don’t know any. He never shies away from a difficult task (unless it’s an explosive diaper) and he will willingly take on any job, large or small, dirty or difficult. He is driven to achieve his goals and is uncomfortable coasting or sitting back and letting others work hard. He’s the guy that you can be sure will show up, diligently get the job done, and clean up after.

10. The Perfect Husband– Perhaps not according to Hollywood Movie standards, but according to real life and God’s plan, my husband is the perfect husband for me. He compliments me, challenges me, protects me, lifts me up and makes me a better person in general. I am so grateful to the Lord for giving me the perfect partner…a Super-Partner if you will.

Opposites Attract

Ok so my hubby is sitting in his chair looking at me with that bewildered look that tells me he’s trying to figure out what I am thinking, doing, planning or why I am laughing. It’s one of those looks that I am used to now, it has appeared often in our 11 years together. Translation: What is wrong with you?

Why is he giving me this look of disdain you ask? Because I am sitting on my sofa, up on my knees, giggling like an 8 year old girl about the cast of the newest season of Survivor (Heroes vs. Villains) What can I say? I have loved the show since the first season and this year the island is packed with both my favourite good guys and bad guys! My hubby is forever a realist and can’t imagine being so “into” a television show, reality or otherwise. It’s not really the kind of past-time that attracts him, I guess it’s one of the many things that we do NOT have in common.

This momentary exchange makes me ponder how on earth we could have fallen in love and stayed so strong for all these years despite all the things that we don’t have in common.

He is very organized, I mean really organized. I am not organized at all. I mean, really not organized.

He is the worst channel surfer I have ever met. I like to watch one show at a time, maybe switch to one other show on the commercial, but generally I stick with the program I am watching. Not him, it’s constant channel changing the entire time he has custody of the remote. Surprisingly irritating.

I love animals, I was raised with dogs and cats and have a special place in my heart for most things furry. My hubby, not so much. He doesn’t really come from a world where dogs have shoes and special treats, sleep on the bed and get their teeth brushed. However, I have to say, after being married all these years, I think that he is coming around. He claims to not love our dog, but that’s just not true. I have proof, just ask Bailey.

My husband was not blessed with the gift of gab, I however, have been abundantly blessed. So blessed in fact that my saucer is full because my cup of chatter runneth over!

He doesn’t like Pumpkin Pie or Turkey Stuffing, not even a little bit. How on earth could I have fallen in love with someone who doesn’t like Pumpkin Pie and Stuffing??? Can you even imagine what Thanksgiving is like in our house..?

My wonderful husband has lots of things he likes to do for fun…reading is not one of them. I mean, he CAN read, he just doesn’t enjoy it. I on the other hand, love to read (to which I am sure I have made reference on any number of occasions in this very blog) My idea of a perfect vacation is a suitcase full of books and hours and hours of quiet time to read them all. Hubby not so much.

I love sitcoms and dressing up in costumes, he loves the discovery channel and backpacking. I love cheesecake and social networking, he loves playing guitar and Wii Tennis. I love to entertain guests and talk on the phone, he prefers falling asleep on the couch and never returns phone messages.

Truly I think the things that we DON’T have in common out number the things that we DO have in common. And yet according to beautiful and mysterious divine design, we have found each other and will celebrate 11 years of marriage next week. I am so grateful that the Lord has given me someone so different from me; someone to open my eyes to different things and unique ways of looking at life. I can’t imagine growing old with anyone else, even if it means having to fight for the remote and keep my dog off the bed!

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