Archive for the ‘The Crazy World’ Category

Phrases I could do without

Since the dawn of texting and instant messaging, there has been a steady decline in the english language. Personally I find it difficult to text in short form, resulting in really long messages, requiring much scrolling down. However, I find the use of the following phrases to be a bigger crime against language. Here are some of my favourite phrases in popular use today.

What can I do YOU for? This is just bad grammar.

If it’s not one thing it’s another…ok thanks for the clarification. Just to be clear, if it’s not ONE thing, then it’s ANOTHER thing…oh ok.

I could care less…the goal in using this phrase is to prove that you don’t care. However on deeper examination, it becomes clear that if you could care LESS, then that means you care more now than you possibly could. So you actually do care. Maybe try a different phrase to articulate your lack of interest.

Talk AT you later…sorry but this phrase is just abrasive and rude. No one likes to hear this, I mean really, who likes to be talked AT??

From the Get-Go…where exactly is the get-go anyways?

Sorry but…this is usually followed by something that the speaker is actually not really sorry about. We throw the word “sorry” around so much, it barely has any meaning anymore.

Same difference…so is it the same? or different? These two words are by definition opposites so which is it?

Guesstimate…the words guess and estimate are close in meaning, so it’s a little redundant to combine them. On the other hand since the word guess implies that there was no proof, and estimate implies that the opinion was based on some evidence. I think someone decided to turn “guess” into ‘guesstimate’ in order to bolster their claim about something.

It’s always in the last place you look…of course it was in the LAST place I looked, once I find it, it’s just silly to keep checking in other places isn’t it?

Money is the root of all evil…This is probably the most often misquoted scripture. Paul’s first letter to Timothy actually reads, “For the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Tim 6:10). Come on people, check your source.

I have half a mind to….half a mind? Really? I wonder how much you would accomplish if you set forth with your entire mind.

24/7…the Ricki Lake show is long gone, why are we still saying this?

No offense but…starting a comment with this does not immunize you from any guilt resulting from the words you are about to say. The fact that you have already determined that the listener may be offended means that perhaps you should rethink them entirely.

I’m not going to lie…why preface a comment with this. Shouldn’t telling the truth be standard?

I gave 110%…that’s just a mathematical impossibility…stop exaggerating.

Literally…this word means “actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy” …so people who use it to say things like “I ate until I literally exploded!” kind of irritate me.

Let’s git ‘er done…unless you’re Larry the Cable Guy, please don’t say this. Ever.

R&R in the City

I love visiting Downtown Toronto, I’m not saying I’d want to live there, but I love visiting for short amounts of time. This past weekend I went to stay over at the home of my BFF, a happy down-town city-dweller. As today was my mothers birthday and she is no longer with us to celebrate, I decided to take a break from the everyday for a much needed 24 hours of R&R with no R&R. (Reat & relaxation with no Responsibilities & Real life)

 Things to Do when you are in downtown Toronto.

1. Avoid the Perfume section at Eaton Centre Department store. Seriously, we were passing through the store and were subjected to a gauntlet of sales associates battling for the right to spritz us with their newest pungent juice! On the other hand the lower level store “Lush” is a great place to find hand made yummy soaps and fizzy bath balls.

2. Enjoy breakfast at a corner diner. There is something very city-slicker about eating out for breakfast, besides it’s interesting to see how city people get all decked out for a plate of pancakes and a cup of joe.

3. Bring your Ice Skates. I can’t believe how many people were walking down the street with their ice skates, apparently Nathan Phillips square is the place to be on a crisp sunny Saturday morning. I’ll have to remember mine next time.

4. Visit the a used bookstore. We stopped at a little second hand bookstore located right next to a big flashy store that sells new books. I just love spending time running my fingers over the eclectic collection of literature, comics, philosophy, romance and cookbooks. I couldn’t help remembering how much my mother loved books and thinking that she would appreciate that I spent her birthday looking through old books.

5. Walk diagonally through the Yonge/Dundas intersection. Seems a small thing, but this Times Square-esqe intersection has the option to cross anywhere within the square, right left, or diagonally. It feels slightly dangerous and more than a little liberating to cross this large intersection right through the middle. What can I say? I live in a small town.

6. Order In. I know you can probably order dinner straight to your door regardless of where you live. However with the lack of free parking (or ANY parking in some places) around restaurants; and the fact that traffic can suck every spare minute out of your day, it’s easier to just go online or phone in an order, sit back and await the magic of down town delivery.

7. Take your camera. There are so many beautiful buildings, churches and theatres downtown. Check out Massey Hall, the Canon theatre, Pantages, the Princess of Whales, Roy Thompson Hall etc…

8. People Watch. I have yet to find a more interesting selection of people to observe in all my travels. Toronto has a huge range of people; from the rich and famous celebrities who work in television and film, to those who struggle with the everyday tasks of finding a place to sleep and food to eat. Downtown Toronto has representatives from all walks of life; every race, every age, every demographic, every religion.

I imagine there about a million other things to do and see in the City, but I only had 24 hours this time. The most important part of my trip was spending it with a great friend! It’s so much fun to get away and walk in someone else’s shoes even for a little while. It’s only fair, she comes to our home regularly where she is subjected to the unglamourous suburban life of her housewife friend;  loud and rambunctious children, suck-up dog and endless dishes and laundry. But I guess we all make sacrifices in the name of friendship; so if that means I have to eat out, browse through books and take long “Lush-ious” baths in her soaker tub, I guess I’ll bite the bullet.

SuperMarket Society – Part II

Previously we began our journey through the grocery store to bear witness to the fact that the “Supermarket Society”  is in fact an accurate representation of all that is wrong in the world today. We met the Buggy Rebuffer, Disrespectful Fruit-Handler and the Thoughtless Thief so let’s continue and see who else we find…

As I wander through the seemingly endless aisles of cereal, produce, sauces and toiletries I am constantly surprised by the number of times people knock things to the floor and do not recover them, or shove things to the side with no thought to the person whose job it is to organize and display the products. I turn towards the peanut butter aisle and come face to face with our next offender, the Careless Grabber. You’ve surely met this person, this man or woman in a supermarket near you. Not sure? Well this is the woman that leaves a trail of boxes and packages in her wake, oblivious to the fact that you have to stop and pick up random products either to clear a path for your buggy, or simply because you are a civilized person.

Moving along we begin our exit from the store because, if you are anything like me, you’ve just about had it with the inconsiderate, selfish, oblivious people all over the store. Having only had the patience to pick up 4 or 5 items, I proceed to the express lane where they accept customers with no more than 10 items. Where I am faced with our next offender the Express Lane Lout. This is the man who not only has at least 6 or 7 extra items, flouting the 1-10 item rule, but he is holding up the entire “express” line while his 9 year old daughter searches the cookie aisle for the elusive item they forgot. The other 6 people in line with me are equally as irritated as I am, does this man have no respect for the principle of the Express Lane?

After making my purchases, maneuvering around all the people blocking the exit while chit-chatting and looking at the flyers, I feel like I am almost home free. I’ll be on my way home and away from all the selfish and rude people in the supermarket. But wait, I have encountered one more offender on the way out of the parking lot, the Inconsiderate Pedestrian. I have pulled my vehicle out of it’s spot and am proceeding towards the parking lot exit when I find myself creeping behind a woman slowly walking down the absolute middle of the roadway. Now I drive a large van that is not in anyway invisible, and the last time I checked it’s possible for vehicles and pedestrians to move side by side through the parking lot in peaceful harmony. Unfortunately, this woman is selfishly hogging the whole road as she wanders aimlessly looking for her own car, and I am forced to slowly crawl behind her waiting for her to notice my car and move to the side.

As I drum my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, I contemplate the events of my Supermarket Adventure. Could there really be so many people self absorbed and unaware of the fact that we all live in this community together. Is it possible that people can be rehabilitated for life outside the Supermarket? I certainly hope so for everyones sake, but I think from now on I will send my hubby to pick up our groceries!

Supermarket Society – Part I

Ok so as a wife and mother of two, I spend a fair bit of time in the grocery store. Not by choice, I mean, I would prefer to buy my groceries once a month and avoid the lines, impulse shopping and rambunctious children all together. Unfortunately, despite my efforts to plan menus and organize shopping lists, I inevitably forget several things and have to return at least a couple of times throughout the week.  In my travels up and down the supermarket aisles, I’ve come to the conclusion that grocery stores are a representation of so much that is wrong in the world today.

Let me take you on a imaginary tour of the local grocery store to illustrate my point. So I drive into the parking lot and find myself faced with offender number one; the Inconsiderate Driver. Turning the corner in front of the store entrance finds me immediately stuck behind a vehicle dropping a woman off. The woman is in her 30’s, seemingly able-bodied, running quickly in the front door of the store, bags in hand. I ask myself, why didn’t the driver simply pull into an available parking spot and let the woman out there? Why the need for proximity to the entrance? She seemed to be perfectly capable of walking the 100 feet from the closest empty spot to the store. hmmmm? At this point I am waiting for the car to move towards a parking spot, allowing the cars behind him (myself the closest waiting car) to pass him and get on with the tasking of parking. To my dismay and irritation, I see that the driver has put his vehicle in park and proceeded to make a phone call on his cell, with no sense of urgency. I am forced to wait for the cars behind me to pull out from behind my car before I can back up and pull out around the offending vehicle. Having lost three free parking spots to the vehicles that pulled out from behind me, I can only find a spot much further away now in which to park my vehicle.

Offender number two; the Buggy Rebuffer,  is not so blatantly rude, as much as I find it irritating that other people don’t think to be courteous. Most of the grocery stores near our home have coin deposit/return devices on them. People push a quarter into the buggy and it releases the lock, upon returning the buggy to the corral, your quarter is returned. Simple. Generally when I am entering the store and see someone loading their groceries into their car, I offer to exchange my quarter for their buggy. It seems a simply courtesy to me, I need a buggy and they are finished with theirs. I am walking into the store, and I can save them a trip back with their buggy, seems logical. So why is it that no one ever offers to take my buggy and save me the trip?  Ah well. as my husband likes to point out, not everyone thinks like I do.

Upon entering the produce department, I am faced with offender number three; the Disrespectful Fruit-handler.  I approach the tomatoes and begin to gently test the firmness of each piece of fruit. I do so with the understanding that many people will have touched these before me and I will definitely need to wash them before I use them at home. However, I also keep in mind that just because I am not interested in every tomato and therefore discard many in my search, I need to do so with care and respect because there will be many people who come after me who would rather I not treat their tomatoes roughly. This is exactly why I find it so unpleasant to see the woman beside me shoving the unwanted tomatoes to the side as she squeezes every one with vigorous enthusiasm in a haphazard careless way. As I reach down to pick up the rogue tomato that she has pushed to the floor (or perhaps it jumped off the pile in an effort to avoid the insensitive manhandling that was being visited on the more docile tomatoes) I came face to face with the child waiting in her buggy, and I realize that this woman actually guilty of TWO offensive behaviours!

Besides holding the Disrespectful Fruit-handler office, she is also a Thoughtless Thief!  As I have two small children myself, I am always interested when I see other people’s children sitting patiently in the buggy without causing a stir. To my dismay the woman handed her child a bag of grapes and said, “Go ahead, eat these, Mommy’s almost done!” I couldn’t believe it! I spend a lot of time teaching my children that stealing is wrong, that “tasting” the produce without paying for it, is in fact stealing. Don’t get me wrong, as a busy Mom, I often end up with cranky hungry children in the store and open a box of crackers or cookies to tide them over until my shopping list is complete, but those things have a barcode that can be scanned even if some of the product has been removed. Grapes on the other hand need to be weighed to determine the cost, so every plump and juicy grape this child placed in her mouth was one more piece of fruit for which this mother had no intention of paying!

This blog entry has become longer than I originally intended, so I am going to break it into 2 parts. Stay tuned for Part Two of Supermarket Society, to find out who else I encounter on my adventure through the grocery store; including the Express Lane Lout and the Inconsiderate Pedestrian.

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