Maybe I Could Have a Do-Over…?

I often wish I could go back and start raising my kids all over again. You know, right from the delivery room all the way through until now. A do over. I would love to have a second chance to avoid the mistakes I’ve made with my children thus far, and implement all the wonderful ideas I never got around to accomplishing the first time. What would I do differently you ask…well….

1. Immediate Epidural with J –  that’s right, I don’t believe we get any awards, nor do our offspring give two hoots whether gave birth to them with or without drugs. I suffered immensely and actually about 12 hours longer than necessary b/c of my stubborn refusal to take an epidural. Once I had received it, labour moved swiftly and painlessly. And frankly, I consider a vaginal birth as “natural” as can be but I don’t deny that I used several types of pain management drugs and finally an spinal epidural. My son came out healthy and he and I were both safe so whether or not I had an epidural; I still count it as a natural birth, anyone who disagrees can label their own birth experience anyway they like.

2. Make J sleep in his crib right from the start – spending his first 2 weeks in the incubator gave my little lamb a comfortable cocoon feeling, such that, when placed in the “giant crib” he had difficulty sleeping comfortably. Our solution was to allow him to fall asleep in the swing or car seat, and then we would move him to his crib where he would happily wake up unaware that he had been transferred in the night. Unfortunately when he became too large to sleep or even sit in the swing, we had a terrible time getting him to fall asleep in the crib. Lesson learned, baby #2 ALWAYS went into the crib awake and fell asleep!

3. Spanking –  As our oldest is a Strong-willed child in the first degree, we found the use of spanking when he was little a necessary part of attempting to discipline him. Although I believe that the Lord gives us the authority and right to spank our children in a loving and controlled manner, I don’t believe that this is always an effective and successful choice for all children. It certainly had little affect on J, and we eventually stopped implementing this form of punishment because it seemed to be more causing more problems rather than solving them. Given a chance to do it again, I would not use corporal punishment again.

4.Work from home – A couple of years ago, I was offered a job that involved researching, editing and writing content for a website. This was a part-time job that required me to work a little every day, entirely from home and according to my schedule. In theory. As much as I loved the people I worked with and found the job stimulating and enjoyable, it became overwhelming and occupied far too much of my time. I found my career as a “stay-at-home-mom-working-from-home” became a “working-mom-at-home-sometimes-noticing-the-kids sort of career! Not cool. Whether the job itself was too demanding for what I could offer, or whether I am simply not very good at organizing and balancing my time, I am not sure. I do however regret allowing any job to consume me and keep me from spending time with my little ones, which of course is the whole reason I stayed home in the first place.

5. Baby Book – Here is where my shameful secret comes to light. I have no baby books for my children. There, I said it, too late to take it back. The truth is, I am not very good at following things through. Ever. The truth is that I started a Winnie the Pooh baby book for J and only made it through a couple of the first pages that mark the early milestones. I also started a scrapbook for G  (because by the time she came along, no one was doing baby books anymore, it was ALL about scrapping and stamping!) with about 5 fully finished pages of cropped photos, funky decorative trim and carefully printed journalling under each image. Yeah, I would definately maybe do a proper memory book for my children if I could do it all over again.

6. Baby Videos – So with my oldest, we had a video camera, a fairly big camera compared to tiny credit card size video cameras around today. It was a wonderful gift from my parents to help us chronicle the amazing  movements and gassy smiles of our firstborn, as well as a way to help keep grandparents engaged as we live about an hour apart. We took videos of every bath given, mess pooped, grin smiled, toy broken, shelf trashed, book ripped, wall coloured, yogurt spilled, tantrum thrown, pool splashed, sleep dreamed, jolly jumped and bite taken….but just with the first one. Why not videos of baby G you ask? Well the answer is as simple as it is embarrasing; our camera broke a couple of months before she was born.  The battery pack died and we had to plug it in so we could use it, and with the onset of wireless and camera phones, it was sort of embarrassing to lug this big camera around looking for an outlet just so we could catch a glimpse of her ladyship picking her lovely little nose. Fortunately for her and any future episode of “Gigi the E True Hollywood Story”, we purchased a digital camera so there are thousands of photographs of every stage of her life for the last 4 years. Future fans will simply have to take our word for the fact that she could speak.

I fear the list of things I would do differently as a Mother is quite likely longer than the list of things I consider myself to have successfully accomplished. I think that is the nature of mothers, to look back through our personal history and second guess ourselves at every turn, so I will stop my list here for now. Besides I have some photographs to sort through, maybe I can upload them and make some sort of home video out of them…

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6 responses to this post.

  1. I can relate to working at home. As a work at home mom we think that we will have that benefit of being there for those important things. Not exactly so. Working at home is just that, WORKING at home. I ended up even having to get a babysitter for my 3 year old at home while working, go figure!

    Reply

    • Posted by Lola on March 15, 2010 at 10:27 pm

      Yes that’s what I thought too, “I can work from home and have the best of both worlds” I think it works for some people in some jobs but it didn’t work for me at that time with that job. I think my time management skills and organizational abilities are less than sufficient for that type of work. I mostly find professional satisfaction in volunteering and freelancing now. Thanks for the feedback, I also went by your blog and I really enjoyed it!

      Reply

  2. Posted by Linsey on March 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I think it is definitely the nature of people to look back and say what you would do differently and once I meet superman I will introduce you so he can turn back time for both of us! And it is good for us to look back and learn from the past however I am looking forward to the blog about all the good things you have done for your kids and the things you wouldn’t do differently because I know you have lots of those moments as well!

    Reply

    • Posted by Lola on March 9, 2010 at 2:40 pm

      Hey Lins, thanks for the positive encouragement (I know I can always count on you to make me feel better) I actually DID write a blog outlining some of the things that I feel I have successfully done well….or if not good things, at least things I purposed to do and followed through with. (since following through isn’t actually my strong suit, this is a real achievement.) Check it out if you missed it… https://nicolescorner.wordpress.com/2009/05/20/things-i-swore-i-would-do/

      Reply

  3. Posted by Daddy on March 9, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Truth be told, your issues with J & G would be infinitely easier to deal with if your mother and I could take advantage of a do-over, to the max!!!

    Love you sweetheart!

    Reply

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