The Adventures of Online Shopping

Ok so I have to admit that I am a sucker for a good garage sale, a good thrift store, craigslist, kijiji, and networking Mom’s that pass along and sell their children clothes, toys etc. So there, I admitted it, I like to get a good deal, there’s no shame in that is there?

But let me also say, sometimes I think the idea that “one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure” can get a little silly.  My hubby is a big fan of the online garage sale sights like craigslist and kijiji, he can sit for hours and flip through their listings for computer stuff, musical instruments, tools everything and anything that appeals to your average man. So I’ve recently taken to checking out some of their “free” listings just to see what kind of “deals” I could find….let me tell you there’s lots of good stuff and a LOT of weird stuff.

So since I spend many a time giggling to myself in the basement at what type of items are being generously given away online, I thought I would share with you all some of my favourite finds. Come with me, let’s take a walk on the wild side…These item listings are exactly as they appeared on the web sites, comments in bold are mine.

1. I have nine individual cartons of Southwestern flavored Eggbeaters. The expiry date is Feb 14th, but they have been frozen since before that. They are still good, just take up too much room in my freezer. Hmmmm so they are only 6 months PAST the expiration date….tempting….

2. I am looking for a free pleco fish,can anyone help give me any just so that it can clean the green and brown stuff from the tanks?  It seems like you are going to great lengths just to avoid cleaning the fish

3. Free Diaper Bag. Yours for free. Please pick up before Friday. It’s ok, just throw it away…really, no one will think badly of you.

 4. WASHER STOPPED WORKING YESTERDAY (not sure why) AND DRYER WORKS = BUT TAKES REALLY LONG TO DRY. We are planning to get a new set MUST TAKE BOTH => BRING SOMEONE TO HELP AND BRING A VAN/ TRUCK. So really what you are looking for is a volunteer to come and carry all your junky broken down ghetto appliances out of your apartment b/c you don’t want to do it?

5. Air Conditioner (broken) Big A/C. I think It’s 12,000 BTU. Fan works. Refrigeration doesn’t. Wow, a broken Air Conditioner, well I guess if the fan works, at least I can use it to suck all the muggy hot air from outside INTO my house!

6. Free for pickup is our Sony TV. It just stopped working all of a sudden. Good for anyone who can fix it. Yes, I see, someone else who can’t be bothered to dispose of their own garbage, so looking for a volunteer to help them out.

7. I have a pint of vanilla So Good, a soy-based dairy-free ice “cream.” It was purchased on Friday and has less than a scoop missing. It was bought by someone who thought it was real delicious ice cream, or at least yummy frozen yogurt. Alas, it’s pretty gross. I have no desire to eat it, but if you’re a vegan and fan of So Good, then it’s yours for free!! email for pick up. I swear, no joke. So not only has the package been opened (but with LESS than one scoop missing, granted), but it’s also really GROSS! Hold on, I’ll be RIGHT OVER to pick it up lady!

8. Garage Sale Leftovers. Bunch of things that can go to Value Village tomorrow. Pick it up for free today in my driveway; Kitchenware, books, exercise bike, old speakers, tables, etc. Get it today, free to good homes. So you couldn’t unload your junk at your garage sale, it’s sitting in the driveway now unwanted, it’s getting donated to a store that sales other people’s unwanted junk, but when we come to get it, you’re going to ensure that it goes to only “good homes”?? hmmmm

9. Broken Stove-Free! FREE Range (needs new switches, burners removed, oven heats up fast) Sitting on driveway, FREE for the taking ! Seriously people…take your own stuff to the dump!

10. Free BBQ to give away. Not in working condition – needs a new gas line – but great for a handy person. Pick up only. Why yes, I’d be happy to stop by your house and pick up your broken down BBQ, and I would be honoured to take it to the dump for you. I mean I’m going anyways to dispose of a broken Sony TV, burner-less stove and broken washer and dryer I picked up today too!

11. Old Leather Wallets. Old and worn. Nothing special. Really? Old, Worn AND Nothing special? I’ll be RIGHT there!

12. Free scrap wood with lots of nails from a basement renovation in progress. In addition to nails, some pieces of jagged metal here and there, and, of course, plenty of splinters, so you’ll need a good pair of work gloves to move this stuff. How much for a side of Tetanus?

13. A Delonghi Deep Fryer for free. Needs a really good cleaning, works fine, will deep fry chicken, french fries or whatever. So now you want me to clean your appliances AND take them away????

14. ThighMaster – hey, giving away my wife’s thigh master cause she’s nice and thin now and wanna pass on the health! Can I interest you in a dirty deep fryer, since your wife can afford to live a little?

15. 7 great armless metal and padded red cloth chairs. Perfect for your office or meeting room! It is like you are getting six chairs plus one thrown in free, except they are all free! WHAT, it sounds like a deal…but is it 7 FREE chairs, or is there only 1 FREE chair and I have to buy 6…I’m confused???

16. Hide-a-bed couch – A well loved, but still comfortable couch that pulls out into a bed is in need of a home. There are a few tears in the fabric and one cushion is missing, but it will work just fine for someone in need of a big navy blue couch/guest bed. Wow, from the less-than-appealing description, you really need to “hide-the-bed” so no one ever sees it!

 17. 4 toilet bowls and tanks. Seats included. Just replaced 4 of my toilets with the water efficiency ones. The old ones still in a good condition. Wow the seats included!?! It’s unheard of…That’s just an offer I can’t refuse!!

18. 4 Drawer Lateral with pull out file sorting shelf. non locking. Note: bottom drawer I have never opened or used.  as it is on the driveway beside the house. Hmmm sounds fishy…why have you NEVER opened the bottom drawer? And why mention it? What is IN the bottom drawer, and do the contents have anything to do with why the shelf has been relegated to the driveway?…hmmmm very curious…

19. Have a variety of vegetarianism pamphlets and stickers that are used to hand out at info events that I won’t be using any time soon. Will recycle them if it’s not picked up within a week. “If no one picks them up, I will dump them on my way to Montana’s for a big steak dinner! Forget vegetarianism!! Viva la Beef!

20. Book and Beans. well the first item up for grabs is a large can of PRIMO mixed beans. I bought this for chili, not realizing it contained chick peas.. i dont like them so…. the second item is a new book entitled “mr t vs Chuck norris” which contains 400 facts about the baddest dudes in history EVER. You know how those “dudes” got to be the “baddest dudes”?? BY EATING BEANS!

21. Free T.P. I bought this toilet paper on sale at No Frills, it was on sale and I had a cheap attack. I have a delicate bum and this stuff is just a bit too harsh for my tender nether areas. If you have a tough bum, or are looking to toughen up your bum and associated nethers you can have seven… that’s right seven rolls of scrubby toilet paper! I know, I thought it was a joke too….but it’s for real!

3 responses to this post.

  1. Aww Man, what kind of “junk” people,s really want sell.Yuck and double yuck.Someone to really want to buy “Free Diaper” that are used.Well thank GOD that you really don,t.


  2. Real strong article you wrote.Well written and circling the point.It really give guidance to all those people,s who do on-line shopping after seeing adds in craiglist and craigslist posting service


  3. Posted by Linsey on August 27, 2009 at 12:38 am

    Now I know where to go for all the good deals! Thanks Nic!


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