Archive for June, 2009

Is Anybody “Feelin’ Me?”

There are many things in my day to day life that make me feel old and irrelevant; such as my inability to understand why people intentionally dress so their underwear is showing, or my distaste of ALL rap music and the Simpsons. But there are few things that make me feel like I should soon be fitted for my porch rocking chair and begin practicing my fist shaking, like the slang words and phrases common in today’s culture.

There are so many to choose from, but here are a few examples of words or phrases that I either cannot believe are actually used in common conversations, or are simply too ridiculous to keep to myself.

Ginger – someone with red-hair…what was wrong with the old school derogototy names, carrot top, copper top (told to me by a red head), big red, red etc…did we REALLY need to find more names with which to malign someone simply because of their natural hair colour??

Sick- very good, cool, crazy – ok I was fine with the ridiculous new venacular “Phat” because I figure anyone dumb enough to spell it like that, OF COURSE would think it’s a compliment to call a girl “fat”. But come on…how do young people today come up with this stuff? “that new video was “sick”, like amazing man!” I just don’t get it…?

We’re Up – something said when it’s time to leave.  Unfortunately in my house this doesn’t refer to anyone leaving, but rather is usually followed by a barrage of questions, “…when’s breakfast? Can we play outside? Where’s Daddy? Can I have waffles? Can I ride my bike to school? She’s sitting on the dog! He threw my barbie on the ground! Mommy why are you crying?

Check your vitals: To do a sweep of e-mail and other essential websites. ok this one, I TOTALLY understand…I’ve “checked my vitals” three times just since starting this blog post…

Dandruff – One who makes plans but often ditches them. hmmmm didn’t we used to have a word for that..hm?? Yes…FlAKY…I guess it’s the same thing…a little ickier but the same.

Hydro – Marijuana that is grown indoors. I guess I really need to check my hydro bill now, to verify what EXACTLY they are charging me for>>?

Learn You – a phrase meaning to teach someone. Does this really seem like the best person to “teach” anyone anything? Really, maybe they need to go back to school and work on their language communication skills…I’m just saying…

Fitty – a numerical amount (50/fifty) We have no choice but to blame the rap “star” 50 Cent for this grievous assault on language. I wonder sometimes if perhaps he had a cold sore or something when he first introduced himself and was unable to properly purse his lips and somehow the mispoken version of his name became part of our culture of illiterate sounding words>?!?!>

Frontin’ – Trying to be something that you are not. The act of being fake. Let me give you an example, this word Frontin’ is a made up word, it’s not really a verb, it’s just frontin’.

Making Cookies – A code people use to warn friends not to drop by while they are having a sexual-type tryst. ok for he record, I NEVER use this term, when I say I am making cookies, that is EXACTLY what I am doing. And that is what you see in the pics I post on facebook. I swear!

Prostitots – little girls that wear tight low cut jeans and belly shirts like Brittany Spears. The guilt here can be shared by Mary Kate and Ashley and stores like Siblings. If you make adult style clothes in little girl sizes…little girls will end up looking trampy like adult women.

Dawg – a name for your friends or peers, also someone who is “dating” all the girls. So now we are just encouraging bad spelling…what is the deal? This spelling of the word is not even shorter! It’s just spelled wrong for the sake of bad orthography??? What is the world coming to?

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